The Real Reason Why Your Child Should Wrestle

There are a few different reasons why your child should wrestle, however, this reason is the only one you need to help navigate the sport.

Why Do You Think Your Child Should Wrestle?

In every circumstance when I first start coaching someone I ask this question to the parent and almost every time I get a response that would suggest that they’ve never really thought about it before. It seems to be very common that parents get their kids involved in sports for a variety of different reasons at first, however, quickly their actions start to tell a different story.

Our western culture would have you believe that the purpose of sport is to achieve awards, recognition, and money. We see this expressed in all forms of media today. It’s important to mention that I don’t think that these goals are inherently bad. However, when we ignore the intrinsic values that come from activity in sport, for the pursuit of these superficial ones, we fail to maximize the benefits of sport in our communities.

How Do I Know This To Be True?

As a former division one wrestler, four time state place winner, two time state finalist, and two time division three all american, I’ve achieved more success than ninety-nine percent of those who participate in wrestling. According to the NCAA, only three percent of high school wrestlers will go on to compete in college. Meaning, the vast majority, 97% to be specific, of the athletes involved in the sport will fail according to the goals that our culture would like you as a parent to focus on. 

A Parent’s Why Is Different Than An Athlete’s Why.

This post is not directed at individual athletes. Although, I think athletes could benefit from focusing on more intrinsic goals, it’s not clear to me that children have the ability to fully comprehend this idea. For example, when I look back on my own experience, it was age and maturity that helped me understand what wrestling taught me. I think it’s important that athletes try to be the best because it’s through that pursuit that we’re able to learn about ourselves and what we’re capable of.

As a parent your why should be different, it should be to help your child become the best version of themselves. In order to do this, you must think more critically about what does the best version of them look like? What qualities do they possess? Or more specifically, how does one become the best version of themselves?

Grit: The Reason Why Your Child Should Wrestle

Grit is the quality that is commonly attributed to people who are successful and ultimately why your child should wrestle. The definition of Grit is, “The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.” Someone who has Grit understands the process of delayed gratification and has the discipline needed to execute what needs to be done on a daily basis for long periods of time.

The sport of wrestling, more than any other sport or activity, can develop Grit in people. Fundamentally wrestling is extremely difficult to master. The workout alone is more challenging, both physically and mentally, than most others. In addition to that, the technique that athletes must learn doesn’t come quickly. It takes years of consistent practice and thousands of repetitions in order to become proficient enough to compete against the very best competition, or to be considered a master of the art-form. The sport also requires individuals to discipline themselves outside of the practice room, whether that be in strength and conditioning or diet and nutrition, athletes must control their behaviors in many different areas of day-to-day life. This is why legendary wrestler Dan Gable says, “Once you’ve wrestled, everything else in life is easy.”

Activity in wrestling offers the opportunity for someone to dedicate a portion of adolescence to developing these traits. The sport will present inherent challenges along the way that will continually test the courage, resolve, and strength of character of an individual. This is how individuals become the best version of themselves. It’s because of this, I believe that you as a parent should encourage your child to wrestle, not because of the accolades that may come with it, but because it will make them stronger and more resilient to challenges in their life.

So, What Should You Focus On As A Parent?

Angela Duckworth is the author of the well-known book called, “Grit: The Power of Passion And Perseverance”. In the book she explains that talent alone does not make someone successful and that effort matters more. She also discusses how someone might develop grit through creating a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that someone’s ability to learn is not fixed and that it can change with effort. This mindset teaches individuals that failure is not a permanent condition. When you know that failure is not permanent and that abilities can change with effort, individuals will become less fearful of failure.

As a parent, this is the most important thing to focus on. Instilling a growth mindset in your child by reminding them that outcomes are not final, and that abilities can improve with effort. Consistently reminding them that the right attitude and effort is how they can accomplish their goals. Encourage them to focus on getting better every day. Have passion for what they do and be excited for the opportunity to do it, and always try their best.

It’s important to understand that all great accomplishments in sport come as a result of the individual truly loving the process of training, self-improvement, and competition. When parents focus their sphere of influence on the awards and recognition, they don’t allow the athlete to take ownership of their experience. Athletes then only stay involved in the sport because it makes their parents happy, and ultimately quit when they have a choice in the matter.

Why Am I Telling You This?

I started wrestling at the age of five and I still very much enjoy the activity today at thirty-five. Both training in the weight room and on the mat have become forms of meditation for me. The consistent activity keeps my mind and body healthy. It’s become a productive lifestyle for me. However, that’s not the case for many adults I know who’ve wrestled in their past. As a wrestling coach for the last twelve years, I’ve seen first hand how parents can impact their child’s relationship with the sport, both positively and negatively. You should help your child fall in love with the activity of wrestling. So, they can truly enjoy the process and learn the most from it.

When developing Grit becomes the reason why you want your child to wrestle, you’ll foster hard work, resilience, and passion in your child, qualities that will help them throughout their life.