One of the biggest problems I see in the sport of wrestling today is when coaching itself becomes a competition. Too often, coaches tie their identity and self-worth to the success or failure of their athletes. When that happens, the relationship between coach and athlete becomes limited, it’s no longer built on growth, trust, or mentorship. Instead, it becomes transactional, where the athlete’s performance is viewed as a reflection of the coach’s ego.
Wrestling, at its core, is a martial art. It’s a vehicle for personal growth, discipline, and self-mastery. The act of wrestling can improve your life, not just your record. Competitive wrestling, however, is about the individual’s pursuit. It belongs to the athlete. As coaches, our role is to teach ideas, provide structure, motivate, and help athletes problem-solve along the way. We’re guides on the journey, not owners of it.
The “my way or the highway” mentality has to go. When we force every athlete to fit into one system or approach, we rob them of the chance to develop independent thinking and true confidence. The best athletes are not the ones most dependent on their coaches; they’re the ones who eventually outgrow the need for constant direction.
That’s why I believe in developing independent athletes, wrestlers who can think, adapt, and take ownership of their process. Our goal shouldn’t be to control every decision or dictate every move. It should be to empower young people to make choices, analyze outcomes, and learn from experience. Because at the end of the day, wrestling is not about the coach’s identity, it’s about the individual’s evolution through the pursuit of mastery.
The following is a conversation with a college professor in the area of Philosophy of Sport. This conversation can help any parent or coach better understand the role that sports can play in the lives of people who participate in them.
