Loyalty is one of the most powerful values we can have, but lately, it’s also one of the most misunderstood.
In college sports, the rise of NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) has completely changed how athletes participate and how opportunities are created. For the first time, athletes are being recognized not only for their performance but also for their value. As a result, when an athlete proves they can compete and succeed at a high level, other programs naturally begin to pursue them.
When that happens, a familiar narrative starts to emerge: “They’re being disloyal.”
Fans, coaches, and even teammates sometimes frame an athlete’s decision to transfer as a betrayal, as if their success belongs to the school that helped them take the next step. But that perspective misses something fundamental about both development and loyalty.
The Myth of “We Developed You”
Let’s start with the idea that an elite athlete can be “developed” in one to three years.
That assumption is wrong from the start. Athletic development is not something that begins the moment an athlete walks into a college room. It’s a lifelong process, one shaped by parents who drove them to practices, youth coaches who taught them the basics, high-school programs that challenged them, training partners who pushed them, and countless hours of unseen work.
If we truly believe that loyalty should go to the people or places that “developed” the athlete, then logically, every college wrestler should stay at their high school. Or their youth club. Or their hometown. Or, better yet, with their parents, because no one had a greater impact on who they became than the people who raised them.
Development doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t belong to any single team, school, or coach. It’s a shared process across years of effort and countless environments.
Loyalty Goes Both Ways
True loyalty is mutual. It’s not about control or guilt; it’s about care and respect.
If someone genuinely wants what’s best for you, they’ll want to see you grow, even if that means moving on. They won’t hold you hostage to the time or energy they invested in you. Instead, they’ll be proud that you’ve reached a point where better opportunities have opened up.
Loyalty is not about staying somewhere forever. It’s about being honest, showing gratitude, and leaving things better than you found them. A good coach or program understands that helping someone move forward is part of the job, and that growth sometimes means letting go.
Using guilt to convince an athlete to stay is not loyalty. It’s insecurity disguised as principle.
A Double Standard We Don’t See Elsewhere
What’s strange is how unique this argument is to sports.
In almost every other area of life, we celebrate when someone moves on to a better opportunity. If a student graduates and earns a scholarship at a top university, we applaud it. If a professional gets recruited to a bigger company or a leadership position, we call it success.
Yet in sports, when an athlete chooses to pursue a greater opportunity, one that could elevate their future, their exposure, or their financial well-being, we suddenly call it “disloyal.”
That’s not loyalty. That’s hypocrisy.
Athletes are often told to “do what’s best for the team,” but the truth is, the best teams are built by people who want what’s best for each other.
Loyalty, Redefined
Loyalty should never be used to limit opportunity. It should be the standard by which we support others through it.
If an athlete has earned the chance to compete at a higher level, that’s a reflection of everyone who helped them along the way. Their success doesn’t erase the impact of their previous coaches, it validates it. It means the process worked.
We can honor loyalty and encourage ambition. We can celebrate development and embrace growth.
The athletes who move on to bigger stages aren’t abandoning their roots, they’re carrying them with them.
That’s what true loyalty looks like.
